Thursday, May 4, 2017

Fractured Lives – remembering 20 ½ years on…..

I remember a big tall lad bounding out of the door, catching the door post, poking his head back through the doorway saying “bye mum, see you later”.  He fell back into the room briefly and I told him to be back by 10.30 p.m. to which he replied in a good natured way “awe, mum, I haven’t seen my friends for a week so can I stay out a bit later?”  I replied okay but no later than midnight.  Then off he loped with that big stride, and that lovely smile beaming, to the car where his dad waited to take him to his friend’s house.

Nothing untoward, nothing abnormal or ugly, just this lovely lanky 16-year-old off out to visit his pals. I never saw him again.

The next day we discovered his was missing and our lives have been fractured since.

Over the past 20+ years there have been countless other people who have gone missing but the focus seems to be fixated on a select few.  The issue is much larger.  I have met some of the most amazing people who have suffered this same loss and who have fought valiantly for just a little of the limelight for their own loved one. Not for the glory of the limelight but out of a desperation to get their loved ones face out there in the public eye, “in case”  always in the back of your mind.  “What if” this time we find them? What if we finally get a lead.  What if we finally find out what really happened?  Will someone finally come forward to put an end to our anxiety and our misery and our desolation?  We silently hope against hope even when your gut tells you that you may never know where your child is.

"Here is to all the lost and missing". 

You are are not forgotten and you are missed beyond words and many hearts are heavy with loss.


  1. so sad, just hope and pray damien is found real soon god bless you all, and if there is anyone withholding information they need to put thereselves in damien'
    s familys shoes and come forward xx

  2. Excellent blog as always :) You are so eloquent and passionate but remain humble. I hope your unwavering fight will one day give you the answers you desperately deserve. You never cease to amaze me, how you help so many others who find themselves in your situation, while dealing with your own ambiguous loss x

  3. I hope one day someone will have the decency to tell you the truth where Damien is,thinking of you Valerie x